Chapter #1 John
When I was 19 I met a devastatingly charming guy named John...now some of the guys in later posts will have pseudonyms to protect their identity, and others like John here, will not. This is for many reasons. #1 John is the personality type to be flattered by such words...positive or a bit negative. #2 Some of the guys would never read this blog, and #3 Some I could care less if I offend because they are douche bags.
That being said...on we go.
John...
As I said was unbelievably charming, and funny. He made me blush and coo and act like a complete and total drippy retard with every smile he flashed at me. Not conventionally good looking per se, but considering the type I found myself looking at back in the early 90's, he was just my style. Let me describe him: 6'3 (or so), lanky and a bit awkward. Dirty blonde shoulder length hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that could literally make you swoon. Body -wise he didn't fit the profile, but he looked like a second version, or close family member of a young Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam. (yummo) And his kiss??? Holy shit...his kiss could make me literally fall down with desire. John had the softest lips I have- up until this very day-kissed.
And the charm, as I keep bringing up...was just panty dropping (for lack of a better term)
John was my first love.
John was also an alcoholic and a drug addict.
The good was very good, and the bad...was phenomenally bad.
John used me up until I had nothing left to give. As young and naive as I was, I allowed John to do horrible things to me.
For instance:
-He would call me at 3 am and ask me to steal my moms stash of beer out of the fridge and bring it to him. Which I would obligingly do, and then be in huge trouble for doing so.
-He would make me take him to horrible neighborhoods and sit as a getaway car as he ripped people off for a dimebag of of sen semilia.
-He would only ask for sex when he was wasted, and two pump chump me and pass out.
-He rarely kissed me after I became his girlfriend...ever. Even during sex.
-He cheated...a lot.
-He went to jail....a lot. I spent over $1000 on his bail money. (which he never paid back)
-He lied.
-And last but not least...he stole from me...more than once.
Basically...19 year old John was a jerk, and I was a naive horny teenager with low self esteem.
3 years after John and I finally broke up, and a year after John got out of prison for the first time. He came to me in all seriousness and apologized to me. He had done some growing up while in the pen, and realized how horribly he had treated me -and without trying to get something in return or get me back...he simply apologized and asked for my forgiveness. It was sweet- and sincere- and the only time in my dating life that has ever happened.
John is one of my best friends to this day.
I still get a little tingle when he talks to me, or smiles at me...but I know that we are better off as friends, and I love him to pieces. He lives in Georgia with his girlfriend, and does factory work. John hasn't been in trouble with the law in years, although he does still drink and smoke the wacky tabacky.
All together, John is a good guy, but he broke my heart and was the beginning in a long line of soul crushers.
Chapter #2 Angelo
Angelo.
Ah Angelo...where to begin with Angelo.
Angelo is one of the aforementioned douche bags I spoke of.
Angelo is a full blooded Sicilian, whose grandparents emigrated in the early 1900's.
Angelo was a pathological lying cocaine addict with severe sexual addiction.
I applied to work on The Par A Dice when I was 20 on a bet. My mother bet me 50 bucks that I wouldn't get my lazy ungrateful ass out of bed to go down to Job Service to apply for it. She was serious, and I needed the 50 bucks for a new pair of Lucky Brand jeans that I had been eyeballing. So...I got my lazy ungrateful ass out of bed and went to Job service and applied, figuring that I had a snowballs chance in hell of getting the job, but like I said...fifty bucks, right?
Anyway...I got the job.
A member of the first brigade of cocktail waitresses on the new Par A Dice Riverboat Casino, I was armed with flirtation and a need for cash fast...outside of stripping (which I did a year before this job) it was THE money making place to be. And I WAS making it hand over fist. I averaged 500 a night on a weekend, and those Lucky Jeans? I had 5 pair.
Loving the job and the money and still trying to get over John, this semi-handsome Italian guy with a Jersey accent a mile long swaggers up to me on the deck while smoking a cigarette. He stands there and blatanty eyeballs me while Blowing wide O's of smoke in the air and smiling at me.
Ok...leering at me really.
I ignored him, hoping he would just go away. But much to my chagrin, he remained there-obviously waiting for me to say something while he stared. I kept on ignoring him and watched the water while finishing my cigarette. I flicked the butt into the brown water below and started to walk away. He chuckled to himself and said to my back: "That's it?"
I smiled back and said: "Yep...that's it." and walked back inside.
Two days later as I am wandering aimlessly through the craps tables hustling for drinks, I am abruptly pulled off the floor by a shift supervisor and asked to come into security. I was freaked out thinking "What in the hell did I do????"
I stepped into the security office and beheld the grandest display of roses I have ever seen- in vases, boxes, containers, strewn throughout the room with baby's breath and fern following each trail. A large sign on the back wall in bold letters spelled out: Teresa....go out with me!!!!
I stood there...gobsmacked...mouth agape...unable to say a word.
The shift sup closed the door behind him and left. I walked over to the largest bouquet and smelled the largest bud. I picked up the accompanying card, and opened it up to read: PLEASE! Love, Angelo.
Holy shit, I thought to myself.
Needless to say, any resistance I had up to that point was rapidly beginning to fail me miserably. I agreed to go out with him and thus started the beginning of the Angelo drama that held me in its grips for three on and off years.
More of chapter #2 coming soon...
To be continued.
Jaded
When I was 19 I met a devastatingly charming guy named John...now some of the guys in later posts will have pseudonyms to protect their identity, and others like John here, will not. This is for many reasons. #1 John is the personality type to be flattered by such words...positive or a bit negative. #2 Some of the guys would never read this blog, and #3 Some I could care less if I offend because they are douche bags.
That being said...on we go.
John...
As I said was unbelievably charming, and funny. He made me blush and coo and act like a complete and total drippy retard with every smile he flashed at me. Not conventionally good looking per se, but considering the type I found myself looking at back in the early 90's, he was just my style. Let me describe him: 6'3 (or so), lanky and a bit awkward. Dirty blonde shoulder length hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that could literally make you swoon. Body -wise he didn't fit the profile, but he looked like a second version, or close family member of a young Eddie Vedder from Pearl Jam. (yummo) And his kiss??? Holy shit...his kiss could make me literally fall down with desire. John had the softest lips I have- up until this very day-kissed.
And the charm, as I keep bringing up...was just panty dropping (for lack of a better term)
John was my first love.
John was also an alcoholic and a drug addict.
The good was very good, and the bad...was phenomenally bad.
John used me up until I had nothing left to give. As young and naive as I was, I allowed John to do horrible things to me.
For instance:
-He would call me at 3 am and ask me to steal my moms stash of beer out of the fridge and bring it to him. Which I would obligingly do, and then be in huge trouble for doing so.
-He would make me take him to horrible neighborhoods and sit as a getaway car as he ripped people off for a dimebag of of sen semilia.
-He would only ask for sex when he was wasted, and two pump chump me and pass out.
-He rarely kissed me after I became his girlfriend...ever. Even during sex.
-He cheated...a lot.
-He went to jail....a lot. I spent over $1000 on his bail money. (which he never paid back)
-He lied.
-And last but not least...he stole from me...more than once.
Basically...19 year old John was a jerk, and I was a naive horny teenager with low self esteem.
3 years after John and I finally broke up, and a year after John got out of prison for the first time. He came to me in all seriousness and apologized to me. He had done some growing up while in the pen, and realized how horribly he had treated me -and without trying to get something in return or get me back...he simply apologized and asked for my forgiveness. It was sweet- and sincere- and the only time in my dating life that has ever happened.
John is one of my best friends to this day.
I still get a little tingle when he talks to me, or smiles at me...but I know that we are better off as friends, and I love him to pieces. He lives in Georgia with his girlfriend, and does factory work. John hasn't been in trouble with the law in years, although he does still drink and smoke the wacky tabacky.
All together, John is a good guy, but he broke my heart and was the beginning in a long line of soul crushers.
Chapter #2 Angelo
Angelo.
Ah Angelo...where to begin with Angelo.
Angelo is one of the aforementioned douche bags I spoke of.
Angelo is a full blooded Sicilian, whose grandparents emigrated in the early 1900's.
Angelo was a pathological lying cocaine addict with severe sexual addiction.
I applied to work on The Par A Dice when I was 20 on a bet. My mother bet me 50 bucks that I wouldn't get my lazy ungrateful ass out of bed to go down to Job Service to apply for it. She was serious, and I needed the 50 bucks for a new pair of Lucky Brand jeans that I had been eyeballing. So...I got my lazy ungrateful ass out of bed and went to Job service and applied, figuring that I had a snowballs chance in hell of getting the job, but like I said...fifty bucks, right?
Anyway...I got the job.
A member of the first brigade of cocktail waitresses on the new Par A Dice Riverboat Casino, I was armed with flirtation and a need for cash fast...outside of stripping (which I did a year before this job) it was THE money making place to be. And I WAS making it hand over fist. I averaged 500 a night on a weekend, and those Lucky Jeans? I had 5 pair.
Loving the job and the money and still trying to get over John, this semi-handsome Italian guy with a Jersey accent a mile long swaggers up to me on the deck while smoking a cigarette. He stands there and blatanty eyeballs me while Blowing wide O's of smoke in the air and smiling at me.
Ok...leering at me really.
I ignored him, hoping he would just go away. But much to my chagrin, he remained there-obviously waiting for me to say something while he stared. I kept on ignoring him and watched the water while finishing my cigarette. I flicked the butt into the brown water below and started to walk away. He chuckled to himself and said to my back: "That's it?"
I smiled back and said: "Yep...that's it." and walked back inside.
Two days later as I am wandering aimlessly through the craps tables hustling for drinks, I am abruptly pulled off the floor by a shift supervisor and asked to come into security. I was freaked out thinking "What in the hell did I do????"
I stepped into the security office and beheld the grandest display of roses I have ever seen- in vases, boxes, containers, strewn throughout the room with baby's breath and fern following each trail. A large sign on the back wall in bold letters spelled out: Teresa....go out with me!!!!
I stood there...gobsmacked...mouth agape...unable to say a word.
The shift sup closed the door behind him and left. I walked over to the largest bouquet and smelled the largest bud. I picked up the accompanying card, and opened it up to read: PLEASE! Love, Angelo.
Holy shit, I thought to myself.
Needless to say, any resistance I had up to that point was rapidly beginning to fail me miserably. I agreed to go out with him and thus started the beginning of the Angelo drama that held me in its grips for three on and off years.
More of chapter #2 coming soon...
To be continued.
Jaded
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