Out On A Limb...

This whole long Doug story has been painful, and will continue to be... Not because of re-hashing old memories, or for any other sentimental reasons. It will be painful and difficult because I am not sure where it ends. The other stories that you have read, all had a tightly-sealed ending to them, whether I ended up being friends, or not friends with that particular guy, it was definitively over. Whereas, this story...is on-going. The real problem lies in whether I want this story to end...and I am not sure if I will make up my mind in the small space of time it takes to write this post. It has almost been 2 years, I highly doubt that there will be an answer to this conundrum within the space of an hour, or even the next and final post, written here at my lonely desk. So, bear with me here if I tend to rant, or soapbox, or repeat a lot of the things I have mentioned in earlier posts...it all must be said, or the point of this whole experiment...(The Ex- Philes ) will have been for n...

From that first date...we were practically inseparable. We instantly had crazy-chemistry, and we both were just thrilled to be in each others company. We became an official couple the following Monday. Yeah, it was quick...I know. But we were just in the moment, and it felt right. So, knowing better...we threw aside caution and just dove in. So wonderful at the time. Bliss. No other hokey work can describe it, honestly. Bliss, pure and simple. Here is a snippet of how the phone conversation that Monday went: (with my thoughts in-between interjected for your entertainment.) Him: I had a really good time Saturday, and well...ahem...yesterday. Me: Um...yeah well...I hadn't planned on that happening...must have been your irresistible charm. (It was the kiss, actually...and I knew hours before I was going to rock that... LOL , but I certainly didn't tell him that.) Him: Well...no worries, I am glad that we did. ( I'll bet you are...he he) Me: Good. I'm glad...and for th...

Ok ...NOW I am pissed. I have failed to blog anything about this topic because I try to stay clear of current events and drama in that aspect. I am sure that my opinions here will stir some shit, but I no longer care... I am DONE, and someone in the community needs to REALLY stand up and say something, and say it in a NON sugar-coated way. And I am JUST the girl to do it... WHAT THE FUCK, DISTRICT 150???? ARE YOU COMPLETELY HIGH???? Apparently the NEW plan is to close Peoria High WITH Woodruff High School, and meld the two schools into one. Maybe I am behind in the gossip-mill, and I need to listen to the news a little more...but this is the first I am hearing of this. The last I had heard was that they were, in fact, closing Woodruff ...and Central would stand as is. I am a proud graduate of Peoria High School, and I stand behind my school and it's proud traditions and history. I have stated time and time again that I would never allow my son to be educated by District 150, and I...

Ok, believe it or not, this post will likely be the hardest of them all. And yes, I know I incessantly ramble about Doug, but this is the whole story…beginning to present…and what in the hell I am thinking, therein. I have told Doug that there will be a post, and that he shouldn’t worry about the content being a personal attack on his character or anything like that. It will be honest and mostly positive. I even invited him to read it. For those of you who are wondering if it will be boring, sentimental tripe…it may be partially. So if sentiment or sweetness bores you…don’t read. Ok, here goes. (deep breath…in and out…) Ok, I am ready. Doug and I first met through a popular internet dating service. No…not E-Harmony, and Not Match.com…but popular nonetheless. I approached e-dating with much trepidation and embarrassment. I mean, it does sound like the desperate way to go, really. I reasoned it to myself that it would be much worse to be hanging out at the bars, or trolling the Laundroma...

Wow...I hadn't anticipated being able to start on the dreaded David so soon. I was intentionally putting it off, honestly...it's a hard story to get through. I'll admit, that the time I spent with David was a life changer, and at the time I felt like I really, really loved him. And, perhaps I really really did. But, I knew from day one that lifetime with this guy was never gonna work out...he and I were just way too different, and he was way too young for me. What can I say, I must have blinded by lust...who knows. After all the apartment living that I could bear, I finally was able to rent a house instead. I was pumped! I loved the idea of a big yard, and an actual neighborhood instead of a parking lot for Bubba to play in. It was the extreme home makeover for me. :o) A month after moving into my small but-better -than-an-apartment-house, I noticed across the street from me that there was always a guy who seemed to be working on his house. He was always puttering around w...

Ah...the next excerpt from The Ex Philes... This one is a little sensitive, as I am not sure whether this person does still read my blog. I am guessing that he doesn't, so I don't care. We USED to be friends...whether we still are, remains to be seen... I will say that I am not planning to sugar-coat anything in the interest of hurting his feelings, I will only say that-everything I say is the absolute truth. The good and the bad... So...on to the story. I met him...again the very same way I met Joe. Yeah, you would think that I would have learned my lesson, but what can I say...my stubborn side is a fault most times, and while following a local band which will remain nameless, we met at the bar...at a show. I had seen him at multiple shows, and his best friend at the time was someone I have known for years. I never spoke to him personally, as I thought he always gave me strange looks. Later I found out that these strange looks were basically...well...he had a MAJOR crush on me...

So, as it seems I have to get back to the serious business of substance...here I am. The Ex- Philes Part 6...My baby daddy. Joe. First off...a disclaimer...I did NOT love Joe in that way. It was merely a rebound dalliance after Matthew and his beer guzzling, hitter packing ways. But, I felt it necessary to post about him to clarify that Bubba is NOT an immaculate conception. (Yeah...I know...as IF anyone really considered me a virgin... LOL . Believe me, I'm laughing about that one too...) Ok ...on to the story. I met Joe by hanging/following one of the local area bands. We had a mutual friend, and he happened to be at one of the shows. Joe wasn't physically my type...nor was he personality-wise. But...after what I had gone through with Matt, I was ready for a change. Joe was Matthews polar opposite. Clean cut, stocky, and church-going. No tattoos, no piercings, no drugs, no alchohol . But, in hanging with the band, I felt that he was looking for a little rebellion, and I was...

"You are over-estimating my self control..." Never were truer words spoken... I feel like a sick, depraved, child molester... Why? Because, at 37 years old...I am totally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen. Yeah...I know. I got a $50 gift card from my brother for Christmas from Barnes and Noble from my brother. He knows my absolute love of reading, and always indulges me at Christmas. The rest of the year, I have to wait my turn at the library. Let me say...for kids...the library is great. Great programs, great potential for outside-of-school learning, and mixed media to indulge in. As an adult...I am not a fan. I like buying books...I like to be able to pick them up and re-read them a year later. I hate late fees, and I hate being under a time limit to finish the book. I like to buy books. So anyway, getting to my original point... I went to B&N to buy the list of books I have been keeping...all 5 of them. The one I desperately wanted was out of stock, and I was ...

What can I say...I am inspired. I have been feeling very creative lately since my personal life has been dragging a bit in the fun and naughty department. And...I am bored at work, with no clients to call on today because everyone with a brain and leftover vacation days is at home chillin. I have the brain...what I lack is the vacation day. UGH. SO onward and forward to The Ex-Philes Part 5. Matthew and my time in Bloomington. After my mom passed away I spent some time living in her trailer where she was born and raised. This is a commuting Caterpillar town where there are 4 taverns, 1 church, and 300 total people. The taverns close at 10pm and the nearest grocery and gas station is 8 miles away. Needless to say, I was bored out of my mind being single at the time. There were no men...and the ones that were single had to spit into their collective chew cups between each sentence. Gun and Game has never been my forte. I moved there to feel closer to my mom, whom I dearly love and miss e...