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The Ex-Philes Part 6...Joe.

So, as it seems I have to get back to the serious business of substance...here I am.

The Ex-Philes Part 6...My baby daddy. Joe.

First off...a disclaimer...I did NOT love Joe in that way.
It was merely a rebound dalliance after Matthew and his beer guzzling, hitter packing ways. But, I felt it necessary to post about him to clarify that Bubba is NOT an immaculate conception. (Yeah...I know...as IF anyone really considered me a virgin...LOL. Believe me, I'm laughing about that one too...)

Ok...on to the story.

I met Joe by hanging/following one of the local area bands. We had a mutual friend, and he happened to be at one of the shows.
Joe wasn't physically my type...nor was he personality-wise.
But...after what I had gone through with Matt, I was ready for a change.
Joe was Matthews polar opposite. Clean cut, stocky, and church-going. No tattoos, no piercings, no drugs, no alchohol.
But, in hanging with the band, I felt that he was looking for a little rebellion, and I was just the girl to give him that.
Joe was way too young for me, even 8 years ago.

He actually could quote bible verses.

UGH.

I reminded him early that I had no interest in church, or being preached to...and he was always respectful of that, and never forced his agenda on me...thankfully.

As the fling/pseudo-relationship ensued...there was an abundance of one thing...
And little of any other.

We had lots of dirty, fun, flingy, carnal, rebellion style sex.

But other than that...we just weren't right for one another...in any way.
He was too much of a pushover, and a whiny spoiled, and coddled kid.
He was sheltered, and wide eyed and just plain annoying most of the time.

I reasoned it to myself...

"Jaded...you have stepped out of your box here...he's not a bad guy and you need a GOOD one for a change...give it time..."

I tried.

Unsuccessfully.

Joe wasn't bad looking, per se.
He had nice, kind eyes, and strong arms. He was a football-athletic build and had fabulous lips...very pillowy and soft...with a very sensual cupid's bow right in the middle. He had a sexy crease in his bottom lip as well...it separated the two sides of fluffy sweetness. And yes...he could kiss.
As a matter of fact...he could do just about everything in that area good. Being the church-going kid he was, I expected to have to train him...but I really never did. He grasped the vanilla stuff really well, and I never asked for more. I had had enough non-vanilla with Matthew.

As the time passed on, I sensed that he was getting a little too involved and too invested in me, and it made me nervous. I felt like a shit, really.
Perhaps I did use him a tad...I knew that then and I know that now. But in my defense...I did try very hard to like him in that way...it just wasn't there for me.

So...as I knew by this time, I had to end it.

It was a little bit of a bummer, but...nothing traumatic or anything.

We talked, and believe it or not...he was not surprised, or even very upset. He sensed it ahead of time.

Whew...

It was an amicable and fluid and civil breakup. We still agreed to be friends.

End of story.

Yeah...as if.

Two weeks later I began noticing my breasts were getting more tender and seemingly larger than they had been before. I also noticed that I had been extremely tired...all the time. Like, I could sleep 12 hours a day and still fall right back to sleep.
There was never enough sleep, it seemed.

I didn't think anything about it until I was joking with one of my friends about it one night...
And she said: "You're probably knocked up! Ha ha ha..."

I was struck by lightning...

I hadn't had a period.

UH OH.

Needless to say, the home pregnancy test was positive and 40 weeks later...there was Bubba.

When I finally told Joe that I was pregnant, and I was having it...he literally froze like a deer in headlights, saying absolutely nothing...at all.
He was dumbstruck by my news.

But, being true to his upbringing and his "morals" he waited 15 minutes to sort it out in his head and proposed.

"NO!" I said...perhaps a bit too enthusiastically...

And he practically pleaded.

I had to keep telling him that I was NOT going to marry him...and I DID NOT love him in that way.

So finally...he backed off but was not happy about it...at all.

And as I mentioned before...you know the outcome.
Joe got married to a girl named Melissa in July 08' They bought a big house and Bubba loves his step mom, and she adores Bub as well.
That is a blessing in itself, really.

Bub looks a lot more like me than he does his dad, but he's got his dads pillowy lips...and I am sorta kinda happy about that...the kissing of girls can wait A LIFETIME if I had my way. But...knowing my drive...it will not be that way. SHUDDER THE THOUGHT.

I am still single and looking back upon the proposal I still do not regret it...not for one milli-second. Joe is a nice guy and a pretty good dad for the most part, but not the one for me, in any way, shape or form.

So...next installment...or part 7...
Will be The dreaded "C" and another failure.

This one could be long...

Hopefully I can condense it in the interest of boredom. LOL

Last thought-
"If your love does not work with that person, it just means that someone else loves you more."
-Source Unknown

Keeping the faith-
Jaded

Comments

IDNKM said…
Seeing how zealously you support the "right to choose", why did you choose life instead of the Liberal sacrament of abortion?
Jadedgirl said…
Um...well...sorry(and trying to very politely say) That's a very personal question, honestly. I would normally say...none of your business. But, in the interest of helping you to understand...
There IS a difference between being pro choice and being pro abortion. I support the right to CHOOSE. Could I ever have an abortion? Who knows if I could...I can only thank whatever higher power one believes in that I can choose to do so if I wish to. Or if I were raped, or molested, or have a severely handicapped baby that would never live a normal life.
So...to answer your question, I did not choose to have an abortion because I was 30 years old, and I figured it was my time, even if I was planning to do it alone. I have no regrets in my decision.
However, if I had been 16...that may have been a different story.

My decision to have my son had nothing to do with morality, or feeling guilty about going in the other direction. It only had to do with the fact that it was a CHOICE. A CHOICE THAT I MADE-AND NOT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. It was my body and I CHOSE to have my baby. And that, my good friend, Jack...needs no justification.

Just sayin...

And for the record...I still consider you a friend, so...nothing personal...just the truth.

:o)
IDNKM said…
Nothing taken personally. Thanks for the explanation, I was just curious since you had waxed so rapturously in the past about this issue.

BTW, Roe v. Wade made abortion a Federal issue, before that it was a state or local issue.
Jadedgirl said…
Well...the government in general is what I meant.

And thanks.

At least I know that someone is still reading. :o)

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