Out On A Limb...

So since I have some time on my hands...being fitfully unemployed-I thought I might as well fill some space with writing. I have so much in my head lately, and believe it or not...it has been creative. Creativity LOVES misery, what can I say? But before I start putting my creative vein of editorial work here...I need a bitchfest...ok...for the cleaner readers-I need a vent. And, since this is my blog, I am going to do it...like it or not. First off: Self important weenies AKA douchebags who believe they are cool...but really-not cool. Remember the fat kid in high school (I was the female equivalent of this, so I can say it) Anyway...remember the unpopular, acne-ridden, fat kid in high school? I am not stereotyping him by saying he was a nerd...nerds are smart and wildly successful in this day and age: example- Um...hello-Bill Gates, anyone? No...not the nerd. I'm talking about the social pariah that wasn't particularly good at anything, including grades, or band, or s...

No witty words tonight...just something I felt like posting. Being a huge movie buff, I figured that I would post...in my humble opinion the best 25 movie quotes of all time. (in no particular order) Without further ado... "Sometimes there just aren't enough rocks" Forrest Gump "I think she's the saddest girl to ever hold a martini..." Vanilla Sky "My lady...the tide waits for no man, but I swear...it would wait for you." Shakespeare In Love "I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!" Office Space "Have you seen my stapler?" Office Space "And Just like that...Charlotte Poughkeepsied in her pants..." Sex and The City "And there, in the same city where they met as girls, four New York women entered the next phase of their lives dressed head to to...

It's almost like a cold set of fingers wrapped round my heart when this takes hold of me. Like a cloud of regret and longing that makes me seethe. and I have no recourse for the life I built. The hardness of this world gives me little breath and little less of my will. So the fact remains he will never come back. and my life will continue into it's end. At some point-there is refrain. When the lonliness is as palpable as my coffee, and as black as the same. I figure mixing in some lightener could help me find my name. But as it is...it remains cloudy. Like the day. And I am awake at 2:30...waitjng for it all to change. Life. So, bad poetry for a bad day and evening. I am missing him so much some days that it is hard to breathe and function. I see her posts on facebook to his sisters, who used to feel like my sisters and it makes me miserable. We don't even have the friendship he promised me. I'm sick of my dillusionment and dreaming...

I lost my job this week...I was officially "downsized" This has been a horrible year in general. Trying to remain optimistic and everything. Trying not to whine. But, just a few question before I paste my fake smile back on: When is it my turn to have some good life luck? When can I get through one week without a slice of terrible news, or some life-altering event? and DAMNIT... WHEN DO I GET TO BE AT LEAST A LITTLE HAPPY, for fucks sake????? Ok...bitching over. Smile and happy optimistic attitude back in place. That is all. -Jaded