"You are over-estimating my self control..."
Never were truer words spoken...
I feel like a sick, depraved, child molester...
Why?
Because, at 37 years old...I am totally and irrevocably in love with Edward Cullen.
Yeah...I know.
I got a $50 gift card from my brother for Christmas from Barnes and Noble from my brother. He knows my absolute love of reading, and always indulges me at Christmas. The rest of the year, I have to wait my turn at the library.
Let me say...for kids...the library is great. Great programs, great potential for outside-of-school learning, and mixed media to indulge in.
As an adult...I am not a fan.
I like buying books...I like to be able to pick them up and re-read them a year later. I hate late fees, and I hate being under a time limit to finish the book.
I like to buy books.
So anyway, getting to my original point...
I went to B&N to buy the list of books I have been keeping...all 5 of them.
The one I desperately wanted was out of stock, and I was pretty bummed about that.
But, I managed to find other dalliances.
I reserved the $25 back out of my gift card to come back the following week and buy said out-of-stock book, when I happened upon the black covered, much coveted paperback that has been sending every girl from 18 to (apparently 37) into an Edward Cullen frenzy.
I swear...it actually beckoned me from it's resting place on the best sellers shelf.
It called to me.
I have resisted the books up until that point because I refused to get sucked into another Harry Potter-type jones.
I was one of the geeks that would stand in the book aisle of Wal Mart the morning of each Potter release at 5 am waiting for the stock boy to bring the crates and set them up. The MINUTE it hit the shelf, I was snatching it away, and running to the checkout...the faster I paid- the faster I could know what happened to Dumbeldore, and Harry, and if Ron and Hermione would actually ever get together, and if that cad Voldemort would eventually get his come-uppance!
I truly need a life, I know... (sigh)
So...I avoided the Twilight series for that reason alone...
But there it was...on it's lonely shelf...waiting for me...beseeching me.
I don't know why I did it, but I spent my last $25 on the first two Twilight books.
I was praying that I would HATE the first book...I truly did not want to be another victim of the
Ed-Craze.
But alas...as you can probably already tell...
I faltered.
I am weak.
And now...I would literally give my left tit to be seduced by that young man...
Pathetic, I know.
I read the first book in 4 hours. All 600 pages.
And the second book in 5...all 650.
I was literally in the zombie zone. I didn't move except to pee and get beverages.
Edward Cullen is so damn sexy.
Yes, I have long known of the sexual fascination woth vampires by women all over the world, but truth be told...I never understood it. The whole cape and widows peak look never really appealed to me.
But, the way she wrote Edward...oh my.
He oozes charm and sensuality. He is graceful and mischevious, and...believe it or not...human.
His human qualities are what make him so damn loveable.
You don't see that in many of the undead.
And the guy who plays Edward in the movie: Robert Pattinson.
Holy Christ...
You remember Thelma and Louise and Brad Pitt's Debut in that movie? And also how everyone thought at the time that BP was the epitome of a real angel? How he was as close to human perfection than any other many walking the third rock?
Remember those days?
Well, this guy...he literally is the better version of that ideal.
But without all the all-american boy hoopla of BP.
Robert Pattinson has the character-building crooked nose, and the crooked smile to go along with it.
He has a large forehead, and is a bit non-buff, if you will.
He is tall, wiry, and sinuous. Toned and muscular without appearing bulky or hulkish.
He is a graceful statue...long and lithe.
His eyes are all about the bedroom, and his lips...ah....my weakness...his lips are the stuff of dreams, I kid you not, ladies.
Full and lucious, and begging to be kissed.
His crooked smile is downright dirty, and full of perverted promises. UGH...he's KILLING me.
This guy...Robert melded with Edward.
Is...Is...Is...
My ideal fantasy man come to life...period.
Well, barring Doug, of course. ;o)
So even though I won't live forever, while I am here, I can whole heartedly say...I will live for each Twilight book that Stephanie Meyer pens.
Without a doubt.
Damn you Barnes and Noble!
Last Thought-
Edward: "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. .."
Isabella: "What a stupid lamb. .."
Edward: "What a sick, masochistic lion..."
Ahead to the slaughter-
Jaded
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