Chapter #2 (continued)
At the outset of the relationship, Angelo had a rough-around-the-edges charm that fascinated this small town midwestern girl. I was naive beyond words and had scarcely experienced sex the way I had always imagined, or saw in the movies. Angelo was older (26), experienced, worldly, and important (to me, anyway). He rushed out and bought me things of which I never imagined I would ever have. He wined me and dined me at restaurants that I assumed I would never see the inside of, and taught me about real life. (or so I thought)
I was captured in every way by him.
Yes...I fell for the bullshit, and soaked it up like a willing and ready sponge. He knew this and took advantage of every second of it.
I will say this, though...I do owe everything I know about sex to him. Being the self coined "sexpert" that I believe myself to be all started with Angelo. While he was a complete and total jerk, and a sexual addict, he KNEW what he was talking about. I believe that even though I had had sex before him, I didn't truly become a "woman" until he appeared in my life.
But was it worth it? The stain he left on my life...was it worth the knowledge he imparted of all things of a carnal nature?
I digress...
About 1 year after we began dating, I started noticing lipstick on the collar, and faint smells of perfume on him when he would come home from work. I also noticed white powder on his clothes, stupidly figuring that it was pool chalk (he was in a league) I also began to see a change in his behavior and energy levels and his sexual appetite. While it was already large before...it began to increase to sometimes finding him masturbating in the bathroom 3 hours after we had made love. And when we were making love...well....as fast and furious as it had become... he had lost his usual finesse and his boat didn't always stay "afloat" if you know what I mean...
Creditors were calling his condo night and day, and strange people would knock on the door at all hours. He would tell me to ignore the knocks and be quiet.
While I was still naive, I knew even then what was going on.
He was a cocaine addict, he owed LOTS of people money, and he was cheating on me...with multiple partners.
I knew this for a fact because when I went for my yearly "woman" exam, I was diagnosed with chlamydia.
Lovely.
We broke up finally after multitudes of fights, and screaming matches, and even threats on my family. (He claimed he had mob ties)
He then proceeded to get me fired from the Par A Dice.
You see his mother and step father were the reason he landed in Peoria from Atlantic City to begin with, they were contracted out of the New Jersey Gaming Company to assist in the opening of the boat here, and were essentially the "bosses" at the time. Needless to say, he went crying to mommy about how he couldn't work with me any longer and they fired me...for a bogus reason of multiple late shows. I was never late...not once. But, what could I do? I was 20 years old then and still stupid.
4 months later we got back together on his promise that he had quit the coke, and would never cheat on me again. He tried to get me my job back, but mom wasn't having that. "The Par A Dice was NOT a revolving door for all the girls he was sleeping with and he had made his bed, now he had to lie in it..."quote mom.
So...there I was.
Another three months passed and Angelo was back to his old ways.
Coke, whores, and lying.
We broke up again.
One month after that...I found out I was pregnant.
When I tried to tell him, he wouldn't even talk to me and even slapped me across the face and called me a stalker. He was right...
When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. He wouldn't return my phone calls, he never responded to my notes left on his car, he would run and hide from me at bars.
The last night I ran into him he was at Sully's, I approached him and that's where the slap took place, and a miscarriage followed.
I didn't see him again for 2 years.
And just when you thought it was over.
I kept in contact with his brother who also worked on the boat...his name was Allen.
Allen was much better looking than Angelo himself, and much better to women in general.
If anything, Allen was the anti- Angelo.
Allen was always getting his heart broken at every turn.
But, he was honest, faithful, hard working and sweet.
The good guy.
Throughout the trauma with Angelo, Allen was always there to talk to me, a shoulder to cry on, and an advice giver. He would say: "Teresa...my brother is an asshole. He always has been. He will never be good to you...give it up...get away from him."
You see, Allen and Angelo had never had what you would call a "good relationship"
Angelo was raised by his piggy father and Allen was raised by his mother. Needless to say, you can see who was the better parent.
A month after the miscarriage, Allen and I became roommates...and before you think anything, we were just friends-initially. I still loved Angelo, even though I finally knew that he was bad news...the feelings were still present.
Allen and I had a blast living together as friends.
Angelo had since been fired for a positive drug test (big shocker, I know) and had moved to work on a new boat in Tennessee.
After Angelo was officially out of sight and out of mind (most of the time, anyway) Allen and I became a couple. A sexless couple though, as I was not ready for that yet.
Another month passed of Allen and I when one day out of nowhere there was a knock at the door.
I answered.
Guess who?
Yep.
He obviously was just as shocked to see me there.
Long story short...he needed a place to stay coming off another job he lost, and was on his was to Tunica Mississippi to work on another boat there...but had no money to get there. So while waiting for mom to wire the cash from New Jersey, he was homeless.
Allen was against it, and I kinda was as well.
But we agreed to let him stay for one week.
That week was interesting. Angelo and I talked...he told me that he had changed, and that he was completely sober and trying to get his life back together and that's why he was getting away from here AND New Jersey. He said he was planning to start a new life there in Mississippi. I told him about the miscarriage, and he cried into his hands and said "I am so sorry" about 100 times over the course of the week.
We became friends.
He understood about Allen and I- and was never inappropriate.
The night he got the money, and was planning to leave the following day, he wanted to celebrate and take Allen and I to dinner. Allen had to work.
I wasn't planning on going, but Allen insisted. He said that he trusted me and to just go have fun.
Angelo and I had a nice night on the town...dinner, drinks (many of them) and dancing. When a slow song stopped the dance floor and everyone coupled up, there we were. We danced...and then he kissed me. A kiss so passionate and strong that my knees went wobbly. He smiled at me and touched my chin and we left the bar. Drunk as I was...I was completely confused and even a bit sad that he was leaving. because for all intent and purposes, Angelo had seemingly changed his ways, and I never really let go of him in my heart. We were both silent on the ride home, and I staggered into the house and tried to fake myself to Allen. Allen saw right through it and decided that THIS was the the night we should finally have sex. I did, out of obligation and pity and guilt. It was NOT good to say the least.
While he snored beside me, I cried. When I got up to go to the bathroom, Angelo was standing in the hallway waiting for me. Leaning up against the wall...he only said one thing. "Just tell me...was he better than me? " (He had obviously heard us) and I looked at him and said. "No...he wasn't." He turned and went back to his couch and went to sleep.
I threw up 3 times and went back to bed myself.
The next day, Angelo was off the Mississippi and as he left he said..."don't be sad...I have it all figured out now. " I shrugged my shoulders at his cryptic comment and watched him drive off.
The next day I told Allen that Angelo had kissed me and it wasn't long before we were officially broke up and I was back at mom's.
Allen truly was a good guy, and I screwed it up...looking back now, I know I made a bad choice there. But...the past is the past as they cliche.
2 months after the breakup, my phone rings at 2am.
I answer it.
Guess who?
Yep.
He claimed that he still loved me and he wanted to marry me and to drop everything and come to Mississippi to live with him in the fabulous condo he had found.
He procured me a job, and also told me that he had been seeing someone else named Pam, but he couldn't stop thinking about me and he would break it off if I promised to come.
I did.
When I arrived Pam was a still there.
That night we ALL went to Biel Street in Memphis to party and celebrate my being there.
I got extremely drunk off of the shots he kept buying and had a pretty good time. Although Angelo's reassurance that Pam was only there because her husband had threatened to kill her and she was hiding was good enough for now.
When we got home that evening, Angelo flopped down on the couch with me and a snuggled into his shoulder. He leaned over and laid me down. "WHHOOO HOOO!" I thought. "Yay! Gonna get laid!" He grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch, threw it over me, kissed my forehead, and said: "Goodnight."
He then walked away, into the bedroom and I laid there and listened while he fucked Pam in the bedroom 10 feet away.
It was like being in a nightmare I couldn't get out of, truly.
The next day when I confronted him...he actually said (and I swear this happened, I couldn't make this up) "I never said I wanted to be with you in that way...we are friends...I love Pam and I am going to ask her to marry me on New Years Eve."
Like I said...nightmare.
After that, I basically had no money, and I was not going to crawl home with my tail between my legs. Especially since everyone said: You are freakin crazy Teresa....You'll be back."
So, I worked and when I wasn't working, I locked myself in my room and cried a lot.
I could literally feel a breakdown coming.
At that point I had no choice, so I packed my crap and called my mom.
My brother and she drove through a blizzard in Missouri 8 hours to come and get me.
I haven't seen or heard from Angelo ever since.
Thank God.
Three years of my life that I can never get back, and scarred for life.
Chapter #3 coming soon.
Brian/Brian...and how I met my best friend.
At the outset of the relationship, Angelo had a rough-around-the-edges charm that fascinated this small town midwestern girl. I was naive beyond words and had scarcely experienced sex the way I had always imagined, or saw in the movies. Angelo was older (26), experienced, worldly, and important (to me, anyway). He rushed out and bought me things of which I never imagined I would ever have. He wined me and dined me at restaurants that I assumed I would never see the inside of, and taught me about real life. (or so I thought)
I was captured in every way by him.
Yes...I fell for the bullshit, and soaked it up like a willing and ready sponge. He knew this and took advantage of every second of it.
I will say this, though...I do owe everything I know about sex to him. Being the self coined "sexpert" that I believe myself to be all started with Angelo. While he was a complete and total jerk, and a sexual addict, he KNEW what he was talking about. I believe that even though I had had sex before him, I didn't truly become a "woman" until he appeared in my life.
But was it worth it? The stain he left on my life...was it worth the knowledge he imparted of all things of a carnal nature?
I digress...
About 1 year after we began dating, I started noticing lipstick on the collar, and faint smells of perfume on him when he would come home from work. I also noticed white powder on his clothes, stupidly figuring that it was pool chalk (he was in a league) I also began to see a change in his behavior and energy levels and his sexual appetite. While it was already large before...it began to increase to sometimes finding him masturbating in the bathroom 3 hours after we had made love. And when we were making love...well....as fast and furious as it had become... he had lost his usual finesse and his boat didn't always stay "afloat" if you know what I mean...
Creditors were calling his condo night and day, and strange people would knock on the door at all hours. He would tell me to ignore the knocks and be quiet.
While I was still naive, I knew even then what was going on.
He was a cocaine addict, he owed LOTS of people money, and he was cheating on me...with multiple partners.
I knew this for a fact because when I went for my yearly "woman" exam, I was diagnosed with chlamydia.
Lovely.
We broke up finally after multitudes of fights, and screaming matches, and even threats on my family. (He claimed he had mob ties)
He then proceeded to get me fired from the Par A Dice.
You see his mother and step father were the reason he landed in Peoria from Atlantic City to begin with, they were contracted out of the New Jersey Gaming Company to assist in the opening of the boat here, and were essentially the "bosses" at the time. Needless to say, he went crying to mommy about how he couldn't work with me any longer and they fired me...for a bogus reason of multiple late shows. I was never late...not once. But, what could I do? I was 20 years old then and still stupid.
4 months later we got back together on his promise that he had quit the coke, and would never cheat on me again. He tried to get me my job back, but mom wasn't having that. "The Par A Dice was NOT a revolving door for all the girls he was sleeping with and he had made his bed, now he had to lie in it..."quote mom.
So...there I was.
Another three months passed and Angelo was back to his old ways.
Coke, whores, and lying.
We broke up again.
One month after that...I found out I was pregnant.
When I tried to tell him, he wouldn't even talk to me and even slapped me across the face and called me a stalker. He was right...
When I found out I was pregnant, I freaked out. He wouldn't return my phone calls, he never responded to my notes left on his car, he would run and hide from me at bars.
The last night I ran into him he was at Sully's, I approached him and that's where the slap took place, and a miscarriage followed.
I didn't see him again for 2 years.
And just when you thought it was over.
I kept in contact with his brother who also worked on the boat...his name was Allen.
Allen was much better looking than Angelo himself, and much better to women in general.
If anything, Allen was the anti- Angelo.
Allen was always getting his heart broken at every turn.
But, he was honest, faithful, hard working and sweet.
The good guy.
Throughout the trauma with Angelo, Allen was always there to talk to me, a shoulder to cry on, and an advice giver. He would say: "Teresa...my brother is an asshole. He always has been. He will never be good to you...give it up...get away from him."
You see, Allen and Angelo had never had what you would call a "good relationship"
Angelo was raised by his piggy father and Allen was raised by his mother. Needless to say, you can see who was the better parent.
A month after the miscarriage, Allen and I became roommates...and before you think anything, we were just friends-initially. I still loved Angelo, even though I finally knew that he was bad news...the feelings were still present.
Allen and I had a blast living together as friends.
Angelo had since been fired for a positive drug test (big shocker, I know) and had moved to work on a new boat in Tennessee.
After Angelo was officially out of sight and out of mind (most of the time, anyway) Allen and I became a couple. A sexless couple though, as I was not ready for that yet.
Another month passed of Allen and I when one day out of nowhere there was a knock at the door.
I answered.
Guess who?
Yep.
He obviously was just as shocked to see me there.
Long story short...he needed a place to stay coming off another job he lost, and was on his was to Tunica Mississippi to work on another boat there...but had no money to get there. So while waiting for mom to wire the cash from New Jersey, he was homeless.
Allen was against it, and I kinda was as well.
But we agreed to let him stay for one week.
That week was interesting. Angelo and I talked...he told me that he had changed, and that he was completely sober and trying to get his life back together and that's why he was getting away from here AND New Jersey. He said he was planning to start a new life there in Mississippi. I told him about the miscarriage, and he cried into his hands and said "I am so sorry" about 100 times over the course of the week.
We became friends.
He understood about Allen and I- and was never inappropriate.
The night he got the money, and was planning to leave the following day, he wanted to celebrate and take Allen and I to dinner. Allen had to work.
I wasn't planning on going, but Allen insisted. He said that he trusted me and to just go have fun.
Angelo and I had a nice night on the town...dinner, drinks (many of them) and dancing. When a slow song stopped the dance floor and everyone coupled up, there we were. We danced...and then he kissed me. A kiss so passionate and strong that my knees went wobbly. He smiled at me and touched my chin and we left the bar. Drunk as I was...I was completely confused and even a bit sad that he was leaving. because for all intent and purposes, Angelo had seemingly changed his ways, and I never really let go of him in my heart. We were both silent on the ride home, and I staggered into the house and tried to fake myself to Allen. Allen saw right through it and decided that THIS was the the night we should finally have sex. I did, out of obligation and pity and guilt. It was NOT good to say the least.
While he snored beside me, I cried. When I got up to go to the bathroom, Angelo was standing in the hallway waiting for me. Leaning up against the wall...he only said one thing. "Just tell me...was he better than me? " (He had obviously heard us) and I looked at him and said. "No...he wasn't." He turned and went back to his couch and went to sleep.
I threw up 3 times and went back to bed myself.
The next day, Angelo was off the Mississippi and as he left he said..."don't be sad...I have it all figured out now. " I shrugged my shoulders at his cryptic comment and watched him drive off.
The next day I told Allen that Angelo had kissed me and it wasn't long before we were officially broke up and I was back at mom's.
Allen truly was a good guy, and I screwed it up...looking back now, I know I made a bad choice there. But...the past is the past as they cliche.
2 months after the breakup, my phone rings at 2am.
I answer it.
Guess who?
Yep.
He claimed that he still loved me and he wanted to marry me and to drop everything and come to Mississippi to live with him in the fabulous condo he had found.
He procured me a job, and also told me that he had been seeing someone else named Pam, but he couldn't stop thinking about me and he would break it off if I promised to come.
I did.
When I arrived Pam was a still there.
That night we ALL went to Biel Street in Memphis to party and celebrate my being there.
I got extremely drunk off of the shots he kept buying and had a pretty good time. Although Angelo's reassurance that Pam was only there because her husband had threatened to kill her and she was hiding was good enough for now.
When we got home that evening, Angelo flopped down on the couch with me and a snuggled into his shoulder. He leaned over and laid me down. "WHHOOO HOOO!" I thought. "Yay! Gonna get laid!" He grabbed the blanket off of the back of the couch, threw it over me, kissed my forehead, and said: "Goodnight."
He then walked away, into the bedroom and I laid there and listened while he fucked Pam in the bedroom 10 feet away.
It was like being in a nightmare I couldn't get out of, truly.
The next day when I confronted him...he actually said (and I swear this happened, I couldn't make this up) "I never said I wanted to be with you in that way...we are friends...I love Pam and I am going to ask her to marry me on New Years Eve."
Like I said...nightmare.
After that, I basically had no money, and I was not going to crawl home with my tail between my legs. Especially since everyone said: You are freakin crazy Teresa....You'll be back."
So, I worked and when I wasn't working, I locked myself in my room and cried a lot.
I could literally feel a breakdown coming.
At that point I had no choice, so I packed my crap and called my mom.
My brother and she drove through a blizzard in Missouri 8 hours to come and get me.
I haven't seen or heard from Angelo ever since.
Thank God.
Three years of my life that I can never get back, and scarred for life.
Chapter #3 coming soon.
Brian/Brian...and how I met my best friend.
Comments
And, I came through it a different person, I wouldn't say a better one.
I just had to learn to adapt to heartbreak, You would think I would have gotten the secret by now. :o)
Thanks for the input Jack. And, thanks for the quotes! :o)
Hugs.
Glad to have you at organized Clutter! Feel free to comment at will.
Hugs.