Christmas Is Special...

Christmas is special.

So...every year at Christmas something bad seems to happen to me, and to be honest I cannot fathom who I could have been in another life to deserve it.

Hitler? Hussein? Mussolinni (sp?)

Whoever it was, I would like to take a second to thank him for being such a dick and making me miserable.

Yeah...it's a pity party...deal with it. Or don't read...whatever.

It's not like anyone reads me anymore anyway. I have single-handedly ruined this blog with crying about my messed up life anyway.

So, while I am on a roll...here's more of life's tragedy.

I have this great job.

I love it.

Seriously...it's a great place to work.

I have great co-workers, great bosses, great accomodations, great energy, fairly good pay.

Yesterday I find out that I may be getting the boot.

Why?

Well...it seems that one of our "vertical teams" has dissolved that relationship with the client.

I am still officially a "temp" employee.

I was due to go company in January.

So...while all of the people on this vertical team ARE, in fact, company...if there is no work for them in other departments, someone there will take my desk...and the temp gets the boot.

I was also told that all temps are frozen for now...meaning we will remain temp for an undetermined time. Apparently, we have to cross our fingers that they can find work for us, and we can stay. After this, I went home to find my internet/cable turned off, and my checking account frozen.

LOVELY.

So, in the middle of the recession, and the high unemployment rate, I may be one of the unemployed...with no options.

My recruiter even said that she has nothing else to offer me if I should fall to the wayside here.

Unemployment will pay...but the most I will get it like $400 a month.

So then...today we had an all-company meeting.

Everyone was speculating a retirement.

Speculation was correct...our CEO is retiring.

AND...everyone gets a $275 Christmas bonus!!!!

YAY!!! WHOO HOO!!! OMG...I CAN PAY LOGAN'S LAYAWAY, AND GET MY CABLE TURNED BACK ON! I can even buy him few more presents beside!

As the HR staff circled the buliding and handed out the white paper envelopes along with the owners yearly letter...I sat there thinking..."Thanks God! At least this will still be a good Christmas. Maybe this is a sign, maybe things will start to get better now...see, I can think positive!"

I was all set to post a happy...we shall overcome post...and then, the HR lady asked my name as she approached our group, and I told her, and she matter of factly said. "Oh...well you are still temp...you aren't included in the Christmas Bonuses this year, sorry honey...maybe you will qualify next year. "

And I could literally feel my face sink. In front of everyone else on my team. I wanted to crawl under the table and die.

What sucks is that I was doing so good mentally. I was actually feeling happy. I felt like things were starting to come around for me...finally.

I hadn't cried myself to sleep in a good two months, I felt good all day, I smiled a lot.

It was so nice not to feel miserable for once in my life.

That's what I get for thinking.

Christmas is special.

-Jaded