It never ends...

Well...just when you thought it was safe.

I took my factoring test today, and don't think I did very well.

Hopefully, well enough to get by.

My mind was somehwere else, frankly.

I got some really bad news yesterday.

My economic stimulus was supposed to be direct deposited yesterday...it wasn't. I called HR Block and asked what the deal was.
Since I got the refund anticipation loan instead of just waiting for my return this year, I was told that I would NOT be recieveing it via direct deposit, it would be mailed.
My mailing date according the the last two numbers of my social security is May 23rd.

Meanwhile...

I am in big trouble.

I counted on that money.

Monday I will have no phone.
Tuesday I will have no water, which is in direct violation of my contract with section 8, which means I lose my voucher, and I have to find a place to live because rent here is $600 and there is NO WAY I can afford to live here and pay that ammount of rent.
Which means I have to uproot my kid AGAIN.
And I have no idea where I am going to go.

Ok...I also will lose cable (yeah, a luxury...not a necessity, I know) but that includes my internet, which I have to have for school...(I take one internet class and one hybrid class, my finals are online.

My car payment is two months late on the 15th...which puts me in line for the repo man.

My tags expired May 1st. Which puts me in danger of a ticket.

My insurance is late...it was due the 28th.
I'll probably get my 10 day notice to pay tommorrow.

I am on a payment arrangement with Cilco, and if I dont pay by the 13th, I go off the arrangement and have to pay the whole $400 bill to keep my cilco on.

Rent A Center is going to come take my washer and dryer tommorrow if I can't pay my weekly rental fee...which I can't.

Rent was due the 1st...can't pay it.

I have sixty dollars in my bank account, and a quarter tank of gas.
I have to drop Bubba off in Pekin tommorrow morning at his grandparents house so I can go to try and pick up a shift of work. I hope they will let me stay...
But that entails driving to Morton from Pekin...
So IF I can't work...
I have essentially blown all the gas I have just to maybe work a shift that I might make 20 dollars at.

What other choice do I have though???

I called my brother today and "hinted" that I needed money by telling him my phone was getting turned off Monday. His reply: "Man...that sucks...well...gotta go, gotta get ready to go to the movies, talk to you later."

Yeah...ok.

Then I called A loan place...to which I was denied because I don't work enough hours to qualify.

So, yeah.

I even went to the pawn shop today to try and get a loan on my bitty 1/5 karat diamond solitaire necklace.
No dice...the gold wasn't heavy enough.


So now you know.

It truly never ends for me.

All I was trying to do was graduate FINALLY.

I was trying to do the best thing I could.

For me, and Bubba.

So much for the best thing....I'm on my way to a shelter, with no vehicle. That's really the best thing for Bubba, isn't it???

I give up.

So much for a happy birthday, or mothers day, or graduation day, for that matter.

yeah, yeah...oh poor me, I know.
But just once I wish life would just give me a fucking break...

Just once.