The Ex-Philes Part 8. For My Next Trick...I will Make This D-Bag, Dissapear! (AKA...the story of David)

Wow...I hadn't anticipated being able to start on the dreaded David so soon.

I was intentionally putting it off, honestly...it's a hard story to get through.

I'll admit, that the time I spent with David was a life changer, and at the time I felt like I really, really loved him. And, perhaps I really really did. But, I knew from day one that lifetime with this guy was never gonna work out...he and I were just way too different, and he was way too young for me.

What can I say, I must have blinded by lust...who knows.

After all the apartment living that I could bear, I finally was able to rent a house instead.

I was pumped!

I loved the idea of a big yard, and an actual neighborhood instead of a parking lot for Bubba to play in.

It was the extreme home makeover for me. :o)

A month after moving into my small but-better -than-an-apartment-house, I noticed across the street from me that there was always a guy who seemed to be working on his house. He was always puttering around with power tools and climbing around like spider man on the roof. I would hear the sounds of buzzing and sawing sometimes until 2am. I was starting to get a little annoyed with this, actually, and had planned to mention it to the random guy when I had a chance. For now, I was still trying to remain the new friendly neighbor and waving at spider man- from afar. I couldn't see him from the distance, usually...but I still waved to remain the placating new kid on the block, so to speak.

One summery day there was a knock on my door. I came out of my room and went to the door to see who it was, figuring it was the creepy perverted 80 year old that lived two doors down...again. UGH.

I prepared my non-ass-grabbing defense mechanisms, and answered.

There he was...

An absolutely GORGEOUS young guy standing there, leaning in my doorjamb, and smiling at me with this amazing huge smile. I looked up and he also had the most incredible, iridescent shining blue eyes, rimmed with perfectly long and full lashes that any girl out there would absolutely KILL for.

I stood there, a little awestruck by his stature and his face. He was a big guy...but not fat big...just strapping. (For lack of a better word...)

I mean, this cat was freakin HOT.

He finally spoke...and the angels sang.

I'm joking (sorta)...

He introduced himself as the "noisy neighbor" and extended his services in whatever I needed. Lawn mowing, garbage can heaving, naked, oiled, football...you know...all that typical man jazz.

I had never realized in seeing him from afar that he was so...so...so...freakin incredibly- DAYUMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway...one thing led to another and we had a date...and then one thing led to another and we had a relationship...and then one thing led to another and we had a moving into his house thing.

I did it, regretedly now.

My relationship with David was more based on comfort and security, I know, looking back now.

I confused financial responsibility with emotional maturity.

At 23 years old he owned his own business, his own home, three vehicles, four-wheelers, a boat, and many other toys of expense. He seemingly had his shit together, even better than I at 34 years of age.

Like I said...I was confused.

At first things went great. I was in school full time and working full time, still financially struggling, but refusing to let him help me. I am no gold digger.

But he worked and took care of Bubba for me at night instead of having to find a sitter...it was nice. We had fabulous sex...and a lot of it. He, being in his sexual prime, and I myself in the same spin...we were compatible there...no doubt.

Things were going swimmingly.

Until the baby-mama-drama began.

His ex, that purposely got knocked up by him to get that cash was now in revenge-mode, and taking it all out on me.

His daughter was a beauty, but a bratty-beauty to say the least. I still miss her every single day of my life, though. Her cuteness and lovability far outweighed her brattiness.

I had become attached...and that was getting to be a problem with her mother...because she wasn't happy to have me around at all, especially if it involved her kid.

I know the truth about it all now, but at the time...she seemed completely psycho.

As the drama unfolded...with me in the middle- it put a strain on the relationship obviously, and we began to argue-a lot.

We had been together for 14 months when he asked me to give up my house across the street and move in "permanently"

I was still not sure, but agreed. I loved him, and it seemed logical-financially.

I was at two weeks from drop-dead move out date when we decided to take the kids to portrait expressions and have our "family portrait" taken.

We dressed up, we looked nice...happy.

When we came home, David strangely asked if he could go to his moms for awhile. I said..."Sure, let me get Bub changed and we'll go."

He said he wanted to take his daughter and go alone.

Weird...

Weird because he had never not asked me to come along to his parents with him

But I said that was fine and started the laundry and dinner.

Time passed...it was 9pm, and he hadn't called or come back yet.

He didn't answer his phone.

Finally, he came home at 11:00 pm.

He put his daughter to bed and came to the living room to talk to me.

He sat down and literally began to bawl...sob...and choke.

He claimed that he was so sorry and he just didn't think he could do this anymore...

He said that he loved me, but he just didn't see himself with me in 10 years from now.

I was floored.

2 weeks and I am homeless.

I was completely blindsided by the surprise. I mean, for chrissakes- we just came back from getting pictures taken! It was all so surreal, and dreamlike.

But, as I soon came to find, all real...

One week later, he was actually packing my things for me, and walking them back across the street. (I had spoken to my landlord and she was understanding and let me stay-thankfully)

He literally couldn't get me out fast enough.

When I tried to speak with him about it, he just shut me out and wouldn's discuss it.

I did ask him if this had anything to do with his ex girlfriend...the baby mama.

He vehemently stated-"No...I will never go back to her, she cheated on me."

Hmphh...

By Saturday, I had given him back his key and Bub and I made the long walk of shame across the road. I was devastated...but not because of the usual lost love reasons. Mostly because I just couldn't understand why, and because it was such a shock.

The last 4 months of David and I were shaky anyway, due to the drama unfolding with his daughter, and our sex life dwindling because of a terrible fall he took on the job site-crunching his back pretty bad. Playing nursemaid and housekeeper and babysitter and chef and working and going to school-was taking it's toll on my mood. And the lack of my mood elevator-sex, wasn't helping my bitchiness.

I admit to some gripery...but the house was always clean, I made him excellent meals, and made his lunches. He always had clean laundry, and sheets to lie on, and I distributed his meds at 3am every day.

He never wanted for anything.

But, his mood was different as well at this point, and I knew neither him nor I were happy.

He had moved too fast...and I was just along for the damn ride.

I should have been a little wiser about it, perhaps...looking back now.

Anyway...

Saturday was my last day in his place.

On Sunday morning at 8am (after a very long night of absoultely no sleep and a lot of crying) I hear a brigade of trucks and vehicles trolling down our road.

I sit up and look out the window to see 5 trucks filled with furniture pulling into David's yard.

And from the passenger seat of David's van...hops out the baby mama.

She pulls David into a hug and kisses him-passionately.

No doubt, a show for me.

He lied in my face...he blatantly lied in my face.

I came to find out through a mutual friend that he had been seeing her behind my back for about a month prior, and all the while, here I was...stupid, trusting, believing, ignorant, cow, Jaded...thinking I had it made.

In all my smugness and attitude of "I finally have the family I asked for...I am valid, I am normal...wow, this is awesome!"

All in a matter of minutes, my world crumbled before my eyes.

The betrayal and the lie was just all too much for me.

I called my own baby daddy to come and get Bub, and I stayed in bed for a week.

I didn't eat.

I didn't answer the telephone.

I didn't watch TV.

I just laid there...for one week, other than to go to the bathroom.

I slept.

And laid there.

I stunk-terribly.

I was weak, pale, and puffy from crying at the same time.

My mailbox was overflowing, and I almost lost my job.

When I finally got up and out of my coma, knowing that I had to find a way to function again, if not for me, for Bubba. I just went through the motions, trying depserately not to look across the street at what was right there in front of me.

I stayed in the house unless I absolutely HAD to leave for work or to take Bub to camp/school.

I had no money to move anywhere, and I was stuck.

Right across the street from a living nightmare.

A few months later I found out that all along he had been playing me and the baby mama against each other. The bastard was telling me the very same things about her, that he was telling her about me. (ie) "She's a slob...she never cleans...she never cooks...she always asks for money...she's super lazy, she's a bad mother who never bathes her kid, and feeds him/her all junk food. I never loved her"...etc...)

Turns out that while his ex may have seemed a little psycho, she had every right to be.

He's a liar, and a cheater, and a controlling loser with very little self esteem and a really drama-laden family.

I still have contact with two of his sisters and his brother in law...whom I consider friends, and they adore me.

But, his parents and him...I don't speak to.

Quite frankly, he is one of the very very few ex boyfriends that I absoulutely do not consider a friend still. He's a D-bag, and his parents are blindly fooled by him and think he can do no wrong.

I feel sorry for them, actually.

Their baby boy is a first-class asshat, and they are ignorant to it.

It is sad.

Better yet...HE is sad.

So...the end of the story goes something like this.

I moved away from that mess, obviously...as soon as humanly possible.

Soon after I did so, baby mama got fed up AGAIN, and broke up with him. Hopefully she realized that he was a tard, and told him so.

I don't know, exactly what transpired, nor do I really care.

I only know that he has a male roommate now, and is probably gay, as I had suspected all along knowing his...erm...sexual preferences.

I learned a lot from this relationship, and I look back and wish I hadn't been so unbelieveably naive-even at 34.

But, at least I DID learn.

I don't miss him, at all...he was easily thrown away after his ill treatment of me, and my son. (I found out later that when I was away at work that he was never very nice to Bub, and Bub was always too scared to tell me. He wasn't ever abusive, believe me...I hounded Bubba on that, but he was kind of a tyrant to him...) I haven't forgiven myself for this...poor Bub was miserable, and I was too wrapped up to see it.

That will NEVER happen again...EVER.

It still stings a little to think of that breakup, because of the circumstances, and because it was so sudden. But...I moved on, as I always do.

Next post...I saved the best for last. (and no...I am not being ironic, here)

Doug.

The FULL skinny.

The Long and winding last two years and a big recap.

That should be entertaining. ;o)

Last thought-

"You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear..."

- Mark Twain

Abracadbra...poof...gone-

Jaded